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I Don't Want Nobody To Give Me Nothing (Open Up The Door I'll Get It Mys...BEAMING!!!

Growing and GLOWING without any help from any "Blessing Blocking" haters.
I just want to make one thing very clear, I'm not a LOSER, nor does it suck to be me.
No, I didn't make myself.  True, I am a "bastard", meaning this World labeled me illegitimate. 
 I can assure you, the true "bastards" were my "parents".
My humble beginnings don't give you or anyone the right to treat me like shit,  on the bottom of their shoe.
No, you don't have a legitimate  reason to snub me. I'm sure  many awful events befell you under my watch. I was a single parent, not by choice. I thought that "thang" was a good Christian, s/he convinced me. 
For that I apologize over and over. 
 I do remember the first four years of your life brouhgt me unending JOY! I still re-play your darling personality in my mind.
 Just make sure you realize  any "wrong" I did to you was never due to a lack of caring.
  True, I was very naive concerning the retarded boy I permitted to baby sit you. 
I was definitely blindsided. I was friends with his family, he kept his nieces. I thought he was a fine young man.  I was wrong. 
I was attending a workshop for Cable access. I created an entire Television show. The ********* were amazed but,  grew extremely jealous.
 Of course, evil envy and jealousy has been the bain of my entire existence,  until recently.
When you think about it, no one has the right to judge another.  Especially when the person being mistreated , seriously believes you really love them.
If you want to hate me, be sure it is for a ligitimate "wrong".
If we are going to assign blame for poor parenting, what about that "thang" that left me for his tall, very handsome lover when you were only two months old?
Yes, I'm seventy-four years  and  I try to get up rejoicing, happy for my life, such as it is, each and everyday.
No, I WILL NOT BE TALKED TO LIKE I'M SOME DAMN STRAY DOG!
No,  that is not intelligent, it is quite primitive and savage. It is excruciatingly painful, it is cruel!
Well, one thing for sure, I've proved to myself that I am a great writer, a great artist, through TikTok.
Through total strangers! Over twenty three thousand people follow me but , I'm still not good enough to be offered so much as a crumb.
No, I didn't take you to fantastic play areas when you were a small child. As far as I know they did not exist in the SWATS.  Our area of the city was so racist, they took the balls out  of the play areas at McDonalds.
All I have to say, GOD will make a way out of no way. 
No, I'm not too sensitive.  I am in mental decline but, I know deliberate hatred,  and Blessing Blocking , when I perceive it. Go ahead, what does it really matter now?
So, I don't have any decent Health insurance. You have certainly made it clear you are too busy! Too busy and too pissed. I get it, I shall stay out of your way and your business. 
Perhaps I am too dark, too old but, not worthless.
If you were a true scholar you would not hate me without an explanation.
I thought when you gave that "thang" ten McDonalds , and made me a mental case,  I would surely die of grief.  But, to sit here and witness you just say "Fuck off", find your own insurance, "I'm busy".
If I had money, if I married better, if I ever became a successful published author, I could afford some decent insurance. I could get my eyes and teeth fixed.
No, it didn't happen for me and  my twenty three thousand followers don't mean shit. That I should suffer for giving a toy away in 1989 is pure cruelty and nonsense.
Well, I am so proud that I kept you in every private school I could find and afford.  Yes,  I did drive a very pissy car and I did put you in Tap, Ballet, Soccer, Softball, Band, every gifted program offered. Still, not good enough.
Yes, I bought you a brand new car that you immediately totaled . You even wrecked my brand new car but, I don't bear you any will.
If you insist on hating me, depriving me of decent health insurance, just because you can.  Go ahead.
The HOLY SPIRIT loves Me and IT IS ALL IN DIVINE ORDER.
BEAMING!!!





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